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What’s the first thing that comes into
your mind when you see a girl crying? Now, what’s the first thing
that enters your thought when you see a boy crying? Different story
ey? It’s very stereotypical to judge a guy as weak, fragile,
impotent, or even gay when you see him crying. But what if that guy
you just saw crying was in deep pain that the only thing he knew to
relieve himself is to cry? That he was the victim, and he just need
some help. I could still remember when I was in elementary school. I
was always judge as the crybaby of our section, our class even. They
used to call me that because every time I wanted something and I saw
things as not being fair, I tend to cry. But I cry to tell something,
a message that I disagree or I rebel to that choice. I was nurtured
not to speak up, but do something and since I felt powerless as a
child, crying was the only thing I knew. Since then, I learned how to
control my emotions and suppress my feelings to cry to avoid judges.
You see, there’s something wrong today with society and how it
views depression, especially for men. Since men are always portrayed
strong, society has set the standard that all men need to be strong
and there’s no room for vulnerability. For example, Hollywood
movies always show that men are supremely strong unless he is with a
women, which is somewhat the only reason men can be vulnerable. I
experienced this stereotyping when I was a sophomore, when ever I ask
for help from my friends and colleagues but they all say the same
thing, that is to keep it to myself. It was all agony for me and it
lasted for a year. But now I just reflect on it and see that moment
as one of my times that I was lost. I have friends, both men and
women who’ve been in that same situation as I mentioned. But this
people have different responses for their different personalities and
problems. For example I have a friend, let’s say he’s Bob, and
every time he feels down and under a difficult problem he tends to
sing very loud music and curses around to express his pain. At some
point he tried to hurt himself but I was able to convince him to stop
doing it. Another friend of my, for anonymity’s sake I’ll name
him Sarah, and she deals with her problem by drawing figures and
abstracts that represent her mood. Both of them have different ways
of releasing their pain, but Bob is different from Sarah. Sarah is
open to be vulnerable, while Bob is not. Bob prefers to keep to
himself his problems in life instead of turning to a friend and
asking for help. This was a problem for him and for me because
whenever he tries to opens up with me, sometimes my advice is turned
down and instead he does what he wants and often this leads to him
hurting himself more. As a friend, I always aim to help him and my
other friends whenever they need help because I know how it feels to
be there. I know what it’s like to face thy problems alone, and I
don’t want that to happen to anyone close to me. Things have
changed, but the system still has not. Now that we live in a
millennial era where information is accessible from anywhere and a
single word or phrase could be the meaning of life and death of
someone.

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